Month end

It comes as it always does. The end of the month. It is a time to reflect and decide on your next move. To say i am hopeful is an understatement. I have and have been. Tonight is very short and sweet. Live and let live. That can only ring true until you know what it means. Peace my beautiful people.

Sunday night

Another weekend down and out. Don't feel i achieved much. The weather has not been great and my inspiration and motivation are at an all time low. Not always being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel can be a challenge. Pushing through these times are a learning curve. Got to keep myself together and know that the goods days are just around the corner. Being cold and the rain have definitely affected my mood. I am not going to let my mind be run over though. It's my birthday in a few weeks and i am looking forward to that. The last couple of years i have had splendid parties and this year will be much the same. I haven't planned anything yet but it is on my to do list. Anyways look after yourselves and keep your head up. Chat soon.

Society

So things for me personally are on the up. I am feeling better and getting my life in order. I am 30% better than a week ago. One thing i need to do. Stop reading and observing the news. It undoubtedly has a massive negative affect on me. I read it or see it and it gets me all wound up and emotional. I think one of my biggest pros when i was out cycling was not being in touch with the shit we read and see daily. Human kind has really out done itself to be cruel and disappointing. Of course this is my view only. There is still lots of good and good deeds done on a daily basis but the negative seems to be trumping it at the moment.
It makes me wonder why and why not. Questions each individual has to answer on their own. You may also decide to turn a blind eye or simply ignore it. I don't think there are even answers to some of the questions. But it leaves me more than a little disappointed in what the human race has turned into.
Again you cannot compare us all equal but why does the good not consistently defeat the bad. Why does it all continue. I think this is undoubtedly one of the main reasons why I want to just leave on my trusty bike and escape this turmoil called life. It was so simple and easy out there. Anyway friends and foes until we chat again. Peace and love.

Thinking

I have been thinking a lot and i am going to try and meditate more. I have been trying in bed before i go to sleep. 15 minutes of quiet and really try to clear my head. On my pills there is less noise but still many many crossroads. It is difficult to think with absolute certainty and assertion. I am trying and enjoying things a lot more which is great. Cleaning out ones head and putting the clutter to one side must be the most difficult thing i have ever tried. On my cycling trips it was great as the peace and quiet worked absolute wonders for me. I will never forget the day i was standing next to a round water storage holder and i took the video of where i had come from and where i was going. The peace stunned me and i was absolutely grounded. Anyway this is a bit of an arbitrary post. Just to check in i guess. Be safe.

Time

Been thinking recently about the format of time. It is the one source we cannot currently change. If you or anybody could i wonder what a different world we would be in. Who knows if anybody will ever come up with a way to move forward or backwards in time. There are things i would probably change but very very limited. If you were allowed to change one item or moment of time in your life i wonder what it would be. To be by someone's side before they die. To change a lotto ticket number. To take back an action that you made. The list is endless as to who where why what and how. Each person has a moment an event or an action they would probably change. But for what reason and why. Why is time the only factor we cannot manipulate. It's a bit of a thinker i guess. How much would it change your life for the opportunity to change one moment of your life. We watch movies about it all the time.
Be careful to never ever wish time away as it is the only thing you cannot change. As usual i wish you all peace and love. It is my time to write this blog which helps me in some or another way to move forward and upwards. Be good amazing people and be good to each other. Peace.

Cold

I lay here on my bed. It is still very much winter in Cape Town. The cold is sharp and the days do not see much warmth. I should be happy i am not on tour now as it would be hard work trying to keep myself warm and motivated. Yet as it is i wish i was out in the middle of nowhere right now. By myself enjoying the peacefulness and beauty of the world. My mind is at odds with itself about almost everything. I guess having knowledge is power they say. I am not sure what i am supposed to know right now. I have been lucky in life to have always had the basic requirements to get by and be comfortable with day to day living.
Some call it a mid life crisis. Right now i don't know what to call it for me. I guess time will tell. You see things that you think are important and necessary but are they? Again i don't have many answers. I want to do well and be proud of myself to show that i am strong. But does that really matter. Who knows what is coming for any of us but i guess we all have different desires and wishes. I have been trying to meditate the last few nights but i think my head is too busy. If you have a secret on how to let me know. Sleep tight all.

Oh my gosh

So been a few days again. Sometimes i just think about posting and i don't get around to doing it. You know what i mean... The things we have and will get to. The list of stuff. Well right now i am ticking one off by writing this catch up. I was reminded today by my friend that i am living in the wrong time. I wanted something to be instead of what i had. What i had at that exact moment was perfect but my mind thought it wanted different. It doesn't go that way you see. I was where i needed to be with who i needed to be with. I was simply not present with myself. I have been like this quite a lot lately. Missing life and wanting other things than what i had and how perfect the moment was. I guess it is getting used to my medication and trying to deal with my current tenure. But it is actually all correct.
I am hoping for a calm and collected week to ground my bearings. Just be present and know that it is exactly perfect and the timing is to the second. I will endeavour to stop wishing and rather be accepting and grateful of what i have. For greed is the enemy and you will always want as long as you don't accept the now. It is tremendously difficult but this shall be my goal in life.
Again i wish you all well and love. This world needs more love. Be good and chat soon. G.