W T F

600 Years Old 😳

Brrrrrm Brrrrrm

Tooosday

I was 🆙️ relatively early 🕡ish or so. 🚿🧼🧽🧻🦷💄 and so on and so forth. Ready for the 🌞 I have a quick ☕ with the boss. Then it's go ⌚. A quick 🔙 into town for a supply or 2️⃣. All done. I head out of town towards Plettenburgies Bay. Quite a steep climb up the drag. Then make a ⬅️ turn. About a kilometer down this road this absolute piece of 🐶💩 grabs my arm. Now I have never felt scared or threatened on any of my trips. The language I used, was probably not english. I was angry. Very very angry. I pulled my arm away quickly and kept swearing at this piece of shit until I was a distance away. I still find myself angry right now. I kept thinking if I had a 🔫 a real one I definitely would have pulled it on this brain dead dog turd. So probably a good idea I don't have one.

A couple of kilometers down the 🛣 the township ends and I find myself entering a forest of sorts. 🌲🌳🌴 everywhere. It is quite pretty. 🆙️ and more 🆙️ and just keep going up. I don't mind terribly. It's cooling and rather beautiful. The odd mud patch but mostly great riding. Describing this road would be easy. A road through a forest. Da daah! Less traffic. Less bloody everything. I enjoy it. Suddenly a ➡️ turn and I see a whole bunch of 🐒🐵 well baboons scatter off the road. Quite a laugh. 

The climbing continues 🚵🏻‍♂️. It's a sort of easy going ride. I pass a picnic spot. Then another. The third one is where I stop for... 🍞 and biscuits. Yummmmmmy. The journey gets going again.  🔜 after this I reach the turning 👉 for the day. A right turn. Down, well I thought it was down, into Pee let in burg bay. 

It was simply just not down. It started off nicely but quickly became an 🆙️. I didn't mind. It was a gorgeous day and I had plenty of 🚰. Views no end. Beautiful. Pretty. Well impressive. Booya! Finally the road to the bay. It's a ➡️ turn. I turned. Right. I haven't made town yet. I found me a healthy food gaff and what is next 🚪? Guess... come on guess. Okay okay it are is a 🏕🏖🏝⛺🚐 caravan park. And tents 🐒😉. 

Chat with the bossman. No discount 🐈😶 but he is a cyclist too. Well so he tells me. He is gonna show me a good route outta here tomorrow 🅰️Ⓜ️. So good news there.

After today's incident I need to be slightly more careful. Less nice. I am in this for me. I have to be safe. I will be more careful and more protected from now. 

Otherwise life is absolutely grand. I hope you are all doing well too. Miss you. You probably all drunk. Well enjoy it.

Chat soon.

G.

More Kak

So I am off to Hoekwil. To meet a new friend. Wayne. He has offered to put me up for the night. 🍜🍝🛌🛀 the absolute works. I mean five stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. I 💩 you not. So off I go to Hoekwil. Again new area for me. Not sure what to expect. The road is called the 7️⃣ passes. It is super. Magnifique. ➡️↗️↘️↘️➡️↗️↗️➡️↘️↗️➡️↘️↗️➡️↗️↘️ not to mention I am feeling particularly strong. It is dealt with accordingly. Boom. I find the house. Wayne is on his way home. He went for an out and back ride the day prior. On his way home. He arrives in good time and the afternoon is spent talking about... bikes obviously. He too has a Lynskey. Now quickly. If you own a bike you are a cool person. If you own a Lynskey you are like me. A legend. 

The chat is good. The food delicious. The sleep brilliant. What a break from it all. It was grand. The people I have met. The fortune that has bestowed me. Truly grateful. 

Breakfast this morning. Sandwiches for the trip to boot. Man. This is good.

The weather was not on its best behavior. Overcast. Out of luck as I ride the rain seems to stop. Slightly muddy but not too bad. Today saw the 🦵🦵 absolutely struggle. I could not find pace or power. Everything was just hard work. Like a tap was just draining my energy. It felt a bit weird. I have not felt like this for absolutely ages. Anyway. My plan for today changed about 10 times. Nothing was going to be what it should. 

So I find myself here. Knysna. Second time here. It's okay. 

But is it.... 5 star place. No shit. I promise. She asked what I wanted to pay. I said 200. She said cool. Well what a human she is. We have just chatted for 2 hours. Interesting to say the least. Her boyfriend is doing the trail walk. She is Swedish. He is German. I cannot tell you how interesting she is. 

Well that's me for now. I need sleep. 

Chat soon my friends. 

G

Still Here

I sometimes get a bit lost and start with a post and then delete it because I feel it is not right. Today I am good. It has been something of a few days. Mostly just excellent and happy. 

So Saturday it was over the pass. I felt good. Really good. It's a decent climb 🚵‍♂️. Down the other side. Whizzing like a little shit. Fun. Bike in excellent shape. Man I was so happy. Into Oudtshoorn. 🍔🍟 standard by now. 🚰 lunch bar. Out of there. Wheeeeeee. Onto the Joe. ↗️➡️↘️↗️➡️↘️↘️⬇️☢➡️↗️➡️↗️➡️↗️↗️⬆️ you get my drift. 

Suddenly 👀👁. Can it be? I wipe my 👀👁. I clean my 👓🕶🥽. Aweh. Fo shizzle. It can like to be. It are. A microbrewery. I don't mean they serve midgets or tiny little glasses of beer. It is a small independent 🍺 maker. I go in. Sup homie. Beer please. Expecting to be laughed at. Within seconds there it is. Like amber nectar, a beer. A real life fucking beer 🍺. I cry. The barman cries. The dog cries. The other patron cries. I ask "alcoholic". He says fo sho. I cry. The barman cries. The dog gets a kick and the other patron kicks the dog too. 

One foul swoop the cup is empty. I look at it. The barman looks at it. The other patron shouts fill em up landlord. I insist of a half as the ride for the day is not over.

It was delicious. Lip smackingly good. Beer done I get going. Small tip here. Don't ever try and ride after a beer comma five. But today was an exception. There were no 💩💩 to be given. Weirdly this is where the ride got bloody tough. Not to mention the 🌬🦲 that had arrived. I struggled. It was rough. I should have gotten take aways. Lesson learnt.

From here on it was hard going. I reached my goal. Tired. Dazed. Confused. Drunk probably. Accommodation up ⛺ I settled down and slept like Greg. Yes, I slept just like I always do. Bloody poorly 🤣. 

Up the next morning. Down Montagu pass. Which is in George by the way 🤷‍♂️ sup with that! It was outstandingly good. Cold. It was early. Even early for me. Brisk, beautiful air. I was outrageously happy.

Into town. Straight to the bed shop. Well outdoor warehouse. My blow up doll, sorry I mean mattress was at the end of its days. I needed a new one. Deal done. Off to Hoekwil. 

T B C

Swartberg Pass