Time

Been thinking recently about the format of time. It is the one source we cannot currently change. If you or anybody could i wonder what a different world we would be in. Who knows if anybody will ever come up with a way to move forward or backwards in time. There are things i would probably change but very very limited. If you were allowed to change one item or moment of time in your life i wonder what it would be. To be by someone's side before they die. To change a lotto ticket number. To take back an action that you made. The list is endless as to who where why what and how. Each person has a moment an event or an action they would probably change. But for what reason and why. Why is time the only factor we cannot manipulate. It's a bit of a thinker i guess. How much would it change your life for the opportunity to change one moment of your life. We watch movies about it all the time.
Be careful to never ever wish time away as it is the only thing you cannot change. As usual i wish you all peace and love. It is my time to write this blog which helps me in some or another way to move forward and upwards. Be good amazing people and be good to each other. Peace.

Cold

I lay here on my bed. It is still very much winter in Cape Town. The cold is sharp and the days do not see much warmth. I should be happy i am not on tour now as it would be hard work trying to keep myself warm and motivated. Yet as it is i wish i was out in the middle of nowhere right now. By myself enjoying the peacefulness and beauty of the world. My mind is at odds with itself about almost everything. I guess having knowledge is power they say. I am not sure what i am supposed to know right now. I have been lucky in life to have always had the basic requirements to get by and be comfortable with day to day living.
Some call it a mid life crisis. Right now i don't know what to call it for me. I guess time will tell. You see things that you think are important and necessary but are they? Again i don't have many answers. I want to do well and be proud of myself to show that i am strong. But does that really matter. Who knows what is coming for any of us but i guess we all have different desires and wishes. I have been trying to meditate the last few nights but i think my head is too busy. If you have a secret on how to let me know. Sleep tight all.

Oh my gosh

So been a few days again. Sometimes i just think about posting and i don't get around to doing it. You know what i mean... The things we have and will get to. The list of stuff. Well right now i am ticking one off by writing this catch up. I was reminded today by my friend that i am living in the wrong time. I wanted something to be instead of what i had. What i had at that exact moment was perfect but my mind thought it wanted different. It doesn't go that way you see. I was where i needed to be with who i needed to be with. I was simply not present with myself. I have been like this quite a lot lately. Missing life and wanting other things than what i had and how perfect the moment was. I guess it is getting used to my medication and trying to deal with my current tenure. But it is actually all correct.
I am hoping for a calm and collected week to ground my bearings. Just be present and know that it is exactly perfect and the timing is to the second. I will endeavour to stop wishing and rather be accepting and grateful of what i have. For greed is the enemy and you will always want as long as you don't accept the now. It is tremendously difficult but this shall be my goal in life.
Again i wish you all well and love. This world needs more love. Be good and chat soon. G.

Check check 1 2 3

So wow home slices. 3 nights and 3 posts. That's more than i did when i was searching for water. By the way one day that search will start again. I cannot tell you the feeling i miss of being in nowhere looking for water. The freedom i had. No responsibilities no time frames but also no pay cheques 🤣. The day will come when i leave home on my bike and never return. Only to find my skeleton millions of years later in the most deserted area with my teeth showing a great smile.
Work is getting better by the day. I guess with every job you do the more you know the more you can do and the better you enjoy  it. I am and will getting to grips with it all and enjoying my 8 minute downhill ride to work. I have even walked on the odd occasion and still get to work in less time than it takes most people to get out their driveways.
My medication is also helping me cope. I don't wake up with a sore tummy anymore and my anxiety levels are about as low as the give a shit o meter for our government. I know can you Adam and Eve it...
It's a short one tonight as i don't think you care much for my menial tasks during the day so not much to post. My nights are not too exciting either. I will say that hopefully my diet is a bit better. 2 big packets of vegetables in 2 days. What the fuck right. Normally it is 2 packets of bacon with a side dish of bacon. God that sounds delicious.
Anyway home slices love you all and see y'all soon.
Peace.

#hashtag

So as another day draws to an end i sit and think about the reason we are here. If ever anyone knows please be so kind as to tell me. I know my posts have become a little bit dark and maybe repetitive but the learnings of life are not to be underestimated. For each to their own and lessons understood. Too often do we simply make the same mistake without learning the meaning of it. Why? Am i not smart enough to learn. Am i the only one who does this? The question might even be as simple as is this even a mistake. Why does it keep coming at me. Why can i not clear the error and carry on. What could you possibly be trying to teach me. I guess i will find out soon enough. I kinda wish sometimes it was clearer than the merky water i am looking through. But alas. Good night friends. May the water be clearer in the morning.

Notes

I need to make notes for myself. I sit see and watch as this all unfolds. It has but been written for sometime. All that we desire and imagine can only take place if we allow. Nothing is by chance or accident. It is how we create the moment and define the action. Not only does it arrive at the exact moment it should it arrives in the exact correct quantity. Hard to digest and accept but if you do you shall understand how it all happened. This is a problem that we don't see. A small but very intricate and exact piece. It seems to be an unfair piece of the puzzle but we have designed it to this exact precision. I wish to change my move and go back 3 spaces but you can't. Time is not a system we have control over. Not yet anyway. I need this now to keep me in check. Make sure my moves and decisions are the right ones. I wish this for all of you too. Be patient but when you move make it count. It affects absolutely every single move from there forward. So keep that in your thoughts.

Back on

So i have decided to get this thing back going. A place to document my thoughts. I am in general an extremely personal and private person. I have always been that way. It suits me and i do well in my own world. In the last few weeks i have started another new job. I can't give you the reason why just yet. I hope it works out and i am keeping my head in the game. I have been through a lot of changes recently. I am on my own again. A feeling that has come welcomed. I need to work and try to get myself back to the fun Greg. He has been gone a while. I have lost track of a lot of things because the fighting got out of control. I am blamed for things i don't think are an issue. But hey it doesn't matter who where why what or how. It just matters to me that i rebuild myself on a stronger foundation.
To add to my news i am now on a drug called lexamil. It is a serotonin inhibitor and will help me through this period. I am in need of something to lift the cloud above me and this is the stuff. It should be at full working capacity in a week or two.
This is just a quick catch up but i want to get this little story going again as it helps me document and see my life. I will keep it up to date hopefully.
Anyways off for a nap now so chat soon.